The first day at day care is looming and it is a scary and challenging prospect for mom and provider alike. But, never fear, I have compiled the First Day Survival Guide for all concerned.

This is a team effort with Mom laying the groundwork by gently preparing the child with talk of how much fun day care will be. The provider can be suggesting role playing at home, perhaps providing mom with names of kids and carers to facilitate that familiarization.

Mom should begin some of the day care routines with the child in the weeks preceding and encourage independence by arranging visits to friends. The provider should insist that mom and child pay numerous visits to the day care in the weeks before the first day so all is not completely strange.

Mom, try and have everything packed and labeled the night before (change of clothes, comfort toys, snacks) and all administrative tasks i.e. payment, forms etc taken care of so you can focus on your child. Have a fun breakfast and chat enthusiastically about the adventure ahead. Providers should have an extra staff member on hand to help with the settling in.

Allow the child to help pack his bag and carry it. When you arrive at the day care walk your child in holding his hand, do not carry him. Providers should insist on this therefore avoiding the peeling child off the parent scenario.

All day cares should have a settling in period where the child will stay for gradually longer periods of time. Facilitate the moms so they can be around but discourage too much mom involvement. This is where mom needs to take a back seat and observe rather than interact. Provide one on one support for the child. He may just want to sit and observe for a while eventually venturing into a group to participate or play alone with a toy. Let him go at his own pace. When mom leaves, distract him immediately by ushering him off to some exciting activity.

Moms should take a back seat the first day of settling in. Allow your child to do his own thing, observing or interacting - he will go at his own pace. Gradually, you may step into the hall, first explaining you are going to the bathroom and eventually, you will sit in your car or get a coffee as your child settles down. Always remember to say, bye mommy will see you later, firmly and cheerfully. Do not look back if your child cries. They will be distracted and will stop crying shortly.

This drop off and settling in routine is crucial and should be in place from day one. The communication and understanding between parents and providers will ensure an enjoyable transition for both child and mom. Now, moms can relax for a few hours and providers can enjoy the new little character in their day care!!